my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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