Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize