4 words: hood of his car
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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