I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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