Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
