whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
