I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's blow job season.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize