Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize