why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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