True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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