so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
