I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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