Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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