carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
