so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I CAN MOONWALK!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
