my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
