I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
