..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
