Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.

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(206): View more from Washington

All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?

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