You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
