You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
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She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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