he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
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He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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