I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize