you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize