I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
