all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
