my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
