I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I FOUND THE LEGS
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
