I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
