and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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