I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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