my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
