If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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