you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need water and some morals
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
