did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize