we have officially lost it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
