Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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