I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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