My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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