I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
