hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Houston, we have a squirter
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
