the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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