i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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