He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
