We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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