Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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