Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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