I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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