Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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