Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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