she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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