dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize