Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hippo gnu deer
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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