IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
