There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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