Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
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i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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