what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
