my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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